healing journey
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So much of my decisions in life were made based on the inertia of all the decisions which came before. This is the human condition, part of how we survive as a species. Adapt, overcome, learn, keep moving. Except some of us struggle to adapt and to learn and we end up going in circles.…
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I have drafts of unwritten posts. I start one, lose interest, walk away. Then another, and another. And I can’t figure out why I am having such a block in emoting via the written word, other than the fact that so much has changed for me since I started this blog. So much has changed…
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I was auditing my posts here after writing about therapy rates increasing yesterday. I’ve been thinking a lot about the story I am telling, the energy I am sending out to the world. Considering how much I have healed. Like a doctor wondering if a patient can breathe on their own after the breathing tube…
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The victim mindset says: I am Tantalus beneath the fruit tree, hungry, and unable to reach it. I am Tantalus, thirsty, floundering in a pool of water that cannot be drunk. I drive 50 miles to my therapist’s office every other week. We are a year into forming a patient/clinician relationship and working through what…
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The brutality of single motherhood is a living river with no beginning and no end. I am doing it all, and doing none of it well. There are days I open my eyes and have to box breathe myself out of a panic attack. Will there be enough to pay the propane bill if they…
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I learned to love my life again on a balmy Monday afternoon. The sun is warm in the sand, with waves crashing against the shore. An embrace of light that enfolds my pale body, lying prone on a beach blanket, sunglasses on, book in hand. Around me, movement. Laughter. Children chasing waves, elderly couples walking…
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If you’ve been following along, you might have picked up on the fact that my marriage was a bit of a shitshow, and that I am currently wading through the wreckage, unpacking the aftermath, and wanting to find love again. I’ve had my share of struggles in the dating world. Struggles that landed me in…