divorce
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The day I turned 18, I woke up early, packed my belongings into the trunk of my maroon 1996 Ford Escort and drove out of town. I willed myself not to look in the rearview mirror as I left my childhood home and drove into my future. I’d like to say no one handed me…
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The victim mindset says: I am Tantalus beneath the fruit tree, hungry, and unable to reach it. I am Tantalus, thirsty, floundering in a pool of water that cannot be drunk. I drive 50 miles to my therapist’s office every other week. We are a year into forming a patient/clinician relationship and working through what…
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The brutality of single motherhood is a living river with no beginning and no end. I am doing it all, and doing none of it well. There are days I open my eyes and have to box breathe myself out of a panic attack. Will there be enough to pay the propane bill if they…
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If you’ve been following along, you might have picked up on the fact that my marriage was a bit of a shitshow, and that I am currently wading through the wreckage, unpacking the aftermath, and wanting to find love again. I’ve had my share of struggles in the dating world. Struggles that landed me in…
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I sat down recently to write about the end of my marriage. Someone needs to hear this, someone needs this story, I thought. I had 1000 or so words typed out and started shaking. I realized the details around the demise of my marriage still have a strong impact on me and may be better…
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I keep finding the bottom of myself and looking up for an outstretched hand. All I seem to find is a mirror. These are the things I learned this week that I wish I had known 20 years ago: Hyper-independence Is a Trauma Response I thought I was building a beautiful life, achieving the American…
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There’s this weird feeling, being so far down the road of life that I feel like I should have figured this out already while also finding myself finally knowing what I want. What a blessing to be standing in the doorway, the old me wishing me well as I walk away, and the woman I…