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I was auditing my posts here after writing about therapy rates increasing yesterday. I’ve been thinking a lot about the story I am telling, the energy I am sending out to the world. Considering how much I have healed. Like a doctor wondering if a patient can breathe on their own after the breathing tube…
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The victim mindset says: I am Tantalus beneath the fruit tree, hungry, and unable to reach it. I am Tantalus, thirsty, floundering in a pool of water that cannot be drunk. I drive 50 miles to my therapist’s office every other week. We are a year into forming a patient/clinician relationship and working through what…
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The brutality of single motherhood is a living river with no beginning and no end. I am doing it all, and doing none of it well. There are days I open my eyes and have to box breathe myself out of a panic attack. Will there be enough to pay the propane bill if they…
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I’m trying to pick up pieces I didn’t know had broken away. Pieces that fell around me every time my heart broke. Pieces that I didn’t even know existed every time life disappointed me. Running through my hands and pouring out of my eyes. Things I’m losing over and over again and can’t even remember…
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I cried in the shower this morning. Hot, desperate sobs under the steam. I’m ripping off Band-Aids and pulling out boxes stuffed with trauma. Some days I really have it together, but for months now I’ve just been…raw. Unhinged. Unbridled emotions run amok. All the careful compartmentalization is coming undone and suddenly I am forced…
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While based on true events quoted to me, these stories are fiction. Sometimes women break hearts as often as men do, and sometimes we forget that toxic patterns go both ways. Part 1 You genuinely loved him, once upon a time. You traced your name across his heart, built a future with him, whispered to…
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I marked my parent’s divorce as the standard for what to do after my own divorce. My mom and stepdad were married within a year of my mom and dad separating. My dad was in a relationship with his second wife, though the timeline and details are foggy, rather quickly after they divorced. Here I…
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I learned to love my life again on a balmy Monday afternoon. The sun is warm in the sand, with waves crashing against the shore. An embrace of light that enfolds my pale body, lying prone on a beach blanket, sunglasses on, book in hand. Around me, movement. Laughter. Children chasing waves, elderly couples walking…
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Look at her. She just worked out so her arm is shaking holding up the camera, blurring the top of the image as a result. Carpet that needs to be vacuumed. One of her familiars watching over her. She is radiant and smiling, strong and resilient. She is creative, bright, learning all the ways her…